Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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