An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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