Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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