I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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