whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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