she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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