If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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