The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
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I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
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I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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