It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize