OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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