Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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