We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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