My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
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I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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