I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
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And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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