i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize