Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize