Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
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i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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