Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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