she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize