I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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