$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize