you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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