if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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