You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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