it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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