Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I am spending my child support on dildos
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize