I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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