I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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