in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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