you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize