plz talk dirty to me
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize