the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
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