i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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