Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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