I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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