I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
tell me about the fingering
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