your thong is hanging out like whoa
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize