Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
do nipples grow back?
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