Ambien. No doubt about it.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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