You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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