so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
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i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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