she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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