Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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