This is not my ceiling
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
there is glitter all over my balls
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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