Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
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I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
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I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
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