a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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