An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize