I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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