Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
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I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
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I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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