The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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